Opinion Piece: How to structure a Paper 1 response to Drive Marks
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Structuring Your Paper 1 Response
One of the biggest challenges in IB English Paper 1 is not knowing how to structure your response once you understand the text. Many of you can identify techniques but struggle to organize your analysis in a way that is clear, convincing, and aligned with the assessment criteria.
A strong Paper 1 essay follows a deliberate structure: it begins with a focused introduction that establishes text type, audience, purpose, and thesis; then it develops body paragraphs built around specific authorial choices, and ends with an evaluative conclusion that weighs effectiveness.
The sample response below, based on Pico Iyer’s opinion travel piece “To Big Sur, with Love: a monastery stay on the northern California coast,” demonstrates how to move logically from purpose to technique to effect, while consistently linking analysis back to the target audience.
As you read, pay attention not just to what is analyzed but to how each paragraph is constructed to meet IB expectations.
Exemplar Essay
[Topic] In the opinion travel piece “To Big Sur, with Love: a monastery stay on the northern California coast,” [Comment] Pico Iyer draws on his personal experience to advocate slowing down and embracing silence, suggesting that retreating into quiet, natural spaces offers a more meaningful form of travel because it restores our connection to what truly matters. [Audience] Written for busy professionals overwhelmed by technology‑driven lives, [Purpose] the article encourages those interested in mindfulness to reconsider consumer‑style tourism in favor of deeper, more restorative experiences. [Thesis (your answer to the essay question)] It achieves this through rich descriptive imagery, a reflective tone, personal anecdotes, and contrasts between the noisy modern world and the monastery’s stillness highlight the benefits of withdrawal from constant stimulation.
[Topic Sentence] Iyer’s use of rich descriptive imagery plays a central role in persuading readers of the restorative power of silence and retreat. [Evidence] For example, he describes driving past “dry hills,” “golden meadows,” and “the great blue plate of the Pacific Ocean.” [Explanation] This visual imagery emphasizes vastness and simplicity, distancing the reader from urban clutter and confinement, a feeling visually reinforced by the accompanying image of the open coastline where the expansive sky and uninterrupted horizon dominate the frame. [Effect] As a result, readers associate natural landscapes with calm and freedom, supporting Iyer’s message that physical environments can quiet the mind. [Evidence] Similarly, Iyer describes the monastery as a place where there is “Not a soul to disrupt the stillness” and where “The silence, when I arrive, seems almost to vibrate, a positive presence.” [Explanation] By personifying silence, he presents it as an active and comforting presence rather than an absence, a mood echoed in the photograph of the monastery grounds, where the absence of people and movement visually conveys stillness. [Effect] This reassures readers that silence is nourishing rather than threatening, reinforcing the value of retreat. [Evidence] Finally, Iyer writes that he is “encircled by more stars than I could ever count,” alongside the image of “a rabbit standing on my splintered fence.” [Explanation] The contrast between vast and intimate imagery suggests humility and belonging, mirrored in the image of the lone bench overlooking the ocean, which combines human presence with overwhelming natural scale. [Effect] This image makes the reader feel both small and connected at the same time, encouraging an emotional sense of comfort, perspective, and belonging rather than isolation. [Link to Purpose] Through these descriptive images, both written and visual, Iyer makes the peace of Big Sur feel tangible and desirable, encouraging modern readers to slow down and seek deeper meaning through retreat rather than constant activity.
[Topic Sentence] Iyer’s reflective tone is central to persuading readers of the value of slowing down and embracing silence in a distracted modern world. [Evidence] For instance, he admits that upon arriving at the monastery, “all the deadlines I was worrying about on the road below, all the arguments I was conducting in my head, the worry about next month, that fear for my ageing mother, are gone, completely gone.” [Explanation] By openly listing his anxieties and then showing their disappearance, Iyer adopts a contemplative and honest tone that mirrors an inner release rather than dramatic escape. [Effect] This invites readers to reflect on their own mental burdens and consider retreat as a realistic way to regain clarity and emotional balance. [Evidence] Similarly, Iyer reflects that “A true trip is one that sends you home a different person from the one who left—more directed, more joyful, more calm,” redefining travel through calm self‑assessment rather than excitement. [Explanation] The measured, philosophical tone encourages thoughtful evaluation rather than impulsive agreement, an idea visually reinforced by the image of the solitary bench overlooking the ocean, which suggests stillness, pause, and inward reflection rather than activity or consumption. [Effect] Readers are therefore encouraged to see value in stopping, observing, and thinking, rather than constantly moving or seeking stimulation. [Evidence] Finally, Iyer reflects that although the peace he gains from silence “doesn’t last long,” simply knowing that “there’s medicine available makes everything a little less unsettling.” [Explanation] By acknowledging the temporary nature of calm, his tone remains realistic and credible rather than idealized. [Effect] This honesty builds trust and reassures readers that retreat is a restorative resource they can return to. [Link to Purpose] Through this reflective tone, supported by imagery that emphasizes pause and contemplation, Iyer persuades busy modern readers that slowing down and embracing silence offers a sustainable way to reconnect with what truly matters.
[Topic Sentence] Iyer’s use of personal anecdotes is highly persuasive because it grounds his argument for silence and retreat in lived experience rather than abstract theory. [Evidence] Early in the article, he recalls his first visit to the monastery in “February 1991,” noting that even then, “a few days in silence felt like radiant liberation.” [Explanation] By anchoring his experience to a specific date and moment, Iyer presents his reflections as authentic and tested over time rather than fleeting impressions. [Effect] This sense of credibility invites readers to trust his perspective and consider retreat as a proven source of clarity and calm. [Evidence] Elsewhere, Iyer notes that he has returned to the monastery “more than 100 times over the past 33 years,” despite having traveled widely to places such as Antarctica and Tibet. [Explanation] This anecdote contrasts extraordinary global travel with repeated returns to a simple monastery, emphasizing the lasting value of silence over novelty. [Effect] Consequently, readers are encouraged to see meaningful travel as rooted in depth and reflection rather than constant movement and consumption. [Evidence] In a more vulnerable moment, Iyer recounts that “All night the rain beat against the roof” and that he could not see “a light or any sign of human habitation.” [Explanation] By acknowledging discomfort alongside peace, he avoids idealizing retreat and presents it as a realistic human experience. [Effect] This balance makes his argument more relatable and trustworthy, allowing readers to imagine themselves in similar circumstances without feeling misled. [Link to Purpose] Ultimately, Iyer’s personal anecdotes persuade modern readers that silence and retreat are not abstract ideals but accessible, transformative experiences that restore perspective and meaning.
[Topic Sentence] Iyer persuasively uses contrast between the noise of the modern world and the stillness of the monastery to highlight the psychological relief that retreat offers. [Evidence] Throughout the article, he refers to the “deadlines,” “arguments,” and ongoing worries that occupy his mind before arriving at Big Sur. [Explanation] By clustering these pressures together, Iyer evokes the mental noise of modern life, characterized by urgency and constant distraction. [Effect] This contrast allows readers to recognize their own anxieties in his description and prepares them to see retreat as a necessary antidote. [Evidence] In relatability, upon reaching the monastery, he notes that these concerns are “gone, completely gone.” [Explanation] The abrupt shift in tone and repetition of “gone” emphasizes the immediacy and completeness of this mental release. [Effect] As a result, readers are persuaded that silence offers genuine psychological relief rather than temporary escape. [Evidence] Later, Iyer contrasts modern distractions such as “smartphones,” “social media,” and “constant updates” with the monks’ concept of “recollection.” [Explanation] This opposition frames contemporary life as fragmented and noisy, while the monastery represents clarity and wholeness. [Effect] The contrast encourages readers to question the costs of constant connectivity and imagine the benefits of stepping away. [Link to Purpose] By repeatedly opposing modern noise with monastic stillness, Iyer convincingly argues that slowing down and embracing silence allows individuals to regain perspective, calm, and a deeper sense of meaning.
[Thesis] Overall, Iyer’s techniques are highly effective in persuading his target audience, as his vivid imagery, reflective tone, and personal anecdotes make the benefits of silence feel authentic, relatable, and achievable. [Effectiveness] The most salient feature, the contrast between modern noise and monastic stillness, ultimately strengthens his argument by tapping into readers’ shared experiences of stress and distraction. [Ineffectiveness] However, it may risk oversimplifying his audience’s relationship with technology, potentially alienating readers who see value in stimulation, collaboration, or digital engagement.
